In my work as an engineer, I troubleshoot customer hardware and software design all day. In that line of work, opinion and a whole list of other social niceties take a back seat to fact and the scientific method. The search for a failure’s root cause is the primary goal of an engineer like me and it doesn’t provide any room for opinion.
I want to start with two quotes that illustrate my point.
On the meaning of San Diego
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.
Veronica Corningstone:No, there’s no way that’s correct.
Ron Burgundy:I’m sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don’t know what it means. I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone:Doesn’t it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy:No. No.
Veronica Corningstone:No, that’s – that’s what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy:Agree to disagree.
~Anchorman
Math Impressions
“Instead of having ‘answers’ on a math test, they should just call them ‘impressions,’ and if you got a different ‘impression,’ so what, can’t we all be brothers?” ~SNL’s Jack Handey
What is Fact?
In the most basic sense, a scientific fact is an objective and verifiable observation; in contrast with a hypothesis or theory, which is intended to explain or interpret facts. Factual accuracy is not forgiving or understanding of our feelings.
Consensus does not create fact
Repetition does not create fact
Compromise does not create fact
Emotional overtures do not create fact
Civility or the lack of it does not create fact
Let me create a hypothetical demonstration to illustrate the above points:
A 747 is flying over the Atlantic when the copilot runs to the bathroom at the back of the plane. While he is gone, the pilot has a heart attack and dies at the controls leaving the plane descending towards the ocean.
FACT: Without a pilot the plane will crash.
The failure of consensus – The copilot rushes back towards the cockpit when a passenger named Joe stands up and proclaims that God will save them. All the other passenger’s agree and block the copilot from getting to the cockpit.
The failure of repetition – The copilot asks the crowd to move so he can regain control of the plane. Joe repeats that God will save them and the rest of the passengers repeat it as well continuing to bar the copilot from the cockpit
The failure of compromise – The pilot asks the crowd to move again. Joe agrees to a compromise and lets him halfway through the cabin but not all the way to the cockpit.
The failure of emotional overtures – Seeking to make the copilot understand Joe picks up a baby and, with tears in his eyes, explain that God loves them all and couldn’t possibly let a bad thing like a plane crash happen.
The failure of civility – The copilot finally screams, “Get the Hell out of my way you stupid moron!! This plane is crashing!!” Joe and the other passengers are shocked at his outburst and Joe replies “I think your bad manners have proved my point.” and the other passengers all nod together right before they crash into the ocean.
While compromise, consensus, and civility are all wonderful things when dealing with other people, none of these makes any difference when attempting to establish factual accuracy. (If these things did make a difference with regards to facts, the clients I work with wouldn’t need me.)
Keep in mind that proposing a bogus theory isn’t bad science. In fact, it is great science provided that you objectively test and verify the result. Bad science is clinging to a bogus theory after the facts have shown it to be incorrect. Once we go there, it becomes a belief system and we get to file for tax exempt status as a church.
To bring this back into my everyday life, once you can identify the root cause you can proceed to a solution, but all the wishing and arguing in the world won’t solve the problem without addressing the facts.
In Feburary, I arrived in Spain and then the next week hopped onto a train to head to a small conference for the Fulbrighters in the tiny mountain country of Andorra.
The Spanish have a high speed rail called the Ave which is fairly impressive. First, you come into the Atocha station which has a small tropical rain forest inside it.
The Rainforest in Atocha Station
This is Mary having a good time taking pictures of Atocha Station. (She just likes taking photos.)
Then you board a train like this one.
The Ave
These trains go faster than 200 km/hour. (That’s over 120 mph in American terms.)
In the United States, Obama’s Stimulus package has set aside $8 billion for implementing high-speed rail as shown in this video:
Here is a map of the proposed high-speed rail routes:
I arrived in Spain at about 11 AM on February 19, 2009. More importantly, I was immediately wrapped into the embrace of my best friend and wife. I’ll be traveling around Europe for about 5 weeks and our goal is to spend as much of that time together as possible.
Technician: This is Capoferro Tech Support, can I help you?
Caller: Yes, I am currently in a duel and I would like some help.
Technician: Can I get some information about your opponent?
Caller: Sure. He has a sword.
Technician: Can you tell me anything else?
Caller: He’s got black hair and brown eyes.
Technician: [audible sigh]... Can you tell me if he is skilled, unskilled, or bestial?
Caller: How can you tell?
Technician: A bestial fencer will throw many blows with great impetus and has no understanding of tempo or measure.
Caller: I don’t think that’s him; he’s just standing there.
Technician: Does he have his sword out?
Caller: Yes and it is pointed at me.
Technician: Are you within his measure?
Caller: I don’t know.
Technician: Can he currently strike you with a lunge?
Caller: Yes, he’s already hit me twice… I’m bleeding a bit from the shoulder. That’s why I called you.
Technician: You should have told me that first. I need you to immediately retreat out of distance.
Caller: Ok… I have retreated… He seems to have relaxed a bit.
Technician: That’s good. I need to know if your opponent is clever.
Caller:**Loudly aside** Hey, are you clever or what? **Into the phone** He says he isn’t clever.
Technician: I want you to assume the guard and cover the inside line with your blade. Turn your point towards his forward shoulder aligning your edge so that you cover his blade with your strong against his weak.
Caller: Ok… this seems to be working. I think he might be impressed or something. He might even be afraid. I love fencing!
Technician: Now, he should execute a cavazione and try to strike you on the outside high line. Be ready to counterattack by rolling your hand into secunda, closing the line and counterthrusting. Are you ready?
Caller: Ok.
Technician: I want you to gradually move forward with tiny steps directly towards him.
Caller: Ok… I’m taking tiny steps… He hasn’t done anything yet. I think it may be working. Oh oh… he attacked the outside just like you said!! I’m counterattacking!! Ahhhh Ahh ohhh ohhh!! He feinted!! He feinted!! He parried my counterattack!! I’m bleeding again!! Yes.. I’m definitely bleeding!! I hate fencing!! I hate it!!
Technician: Calm down. Calm down! I need you to listen to me. I need you to retreat out of distance again.
Caller: Ok… Ok… I’m retreating. He relaxed again. What would happen if I rushed him? Would that work?
Technician: It would probably work for him.
Caller: What does that mean?
Technician: Don’t worry about it. Here’s what you need to do.
Caller: Ok, I’m ready.
Technician: Are you out of distance?
Caller: Yes.
Technician: Can you see the adversary?
Caller: Yes.
Technician: When you are ready, I want you to repeat after me. Are you ready?
Caller: Yes.
Technician: “I want to sincerely apologize for having offended you.”
Caller: **Loudly aside** I want to sincerely apologize for having offended you.
Technician: Now put your sword away and see if he lets you leave. ***********************************
For the record, covering the inside line and counterattacking the cavazione in 2nd is Plate 7. I’ll leave it to you guys to figure out what the clever fencer’s response was.
